-Jacey-

I prayed for the next pothole to be big enough to swallow up the Suburban whole.

Jeanie dropped her head into her hands and just shook it back and forth. "It was just a silly childhood crush. They would never do anything that... distasteful. They're brother and sister now."

Right. Now I was a gross leper. And probably red as an apple, if the heat in my face was anything to go by.

I snuck a glance at Caleb, certain he must be laughing at me.

Instead, I was surprised to see his hands balled into fists as he looked out his window. "Yeah, brother and sister. Ewww, right Jacey?" my father teased.

"Er... right," I said softly.

"Oh Hank! Look, a moose!" Jeanie cried, a bit louder than was necessary. But I think all of us, except my father, were grateful for the distraction.

"Would you look at that?" My father sighed, stopping the Suburban and leaning on the steering wheel as the large moose weaved its way through the trees. When it moved, we could see a baby moose behind it, a light brown color with little knobs on its head.

Jeanie undid her seatbelt.

My father's head snapped to her. "What are you doing?" "Getting out to take a picture, silly!" Jeanie laughed.

Before Jeanie had the door open even an inch, my father quickly grabbed the handle and pulled it closed again. "The hell you are. That thing's a killer. Oh, it might look cute,

but they're ornery fuckers, and you will either get gored or trampled to death if you bother it."

Jeanie paled, then frowned. "Hank, do you really think that's appropriate language to use in front of Jacey?"

"She'll be eighteen in two days!" my father protested.

I smiled and patted Jeanie's shoulder. "Don't worry. He said a lot worse when a fish broke the landing net last year."

"Hank!" Jeanie said, scandalized.

My father shrugged. "It was a brand-new net, and the fish was a monster. Choice words had to be said."

Jeanie rolled her eyes and looked back at us. She put a hand on Caleb's knee as the Suburban started back down the logging road. "Is everything all right, son?" she asked.

"It's great," Caleb grumbled. "It's going to be the greatest trip ever."

"Caleb," Jeanie hissed, "be more grateful. Your stepfather paid for this trip, including most of our equipment and your fishing license. The least you can do is pretend to have fun. It's Jacey's birthday."

I could hear Caleb's teeth grind against each other.

"It's going to be the greatest trip ever!" Caleb said in a more perky voice.

My father didn't catch the sarcasm. "It is, isn't it? I'm so glad you could come this year, Caleb, Jeanie. Jacey and I would get lonely all by ourselves." He made puppy eyes at Jeanie.

Jeanie giggled again and swatted his arm. "Behave! The children are with us." Caleb snorted and looked back out his window.

While my father and stepmother were distracted, I took the opportunity to ogle Caleb's profile. Sure, I would never touch him. He'd certainly made that much clear on my fifteenth birthday. But God, he was nice to look at.

"Do I have something on my face, Jacey?" Caleb finally asked in a low tone. I gulped. I was caught. "Uh... er..."

"Why don't you look out the window and take in the sights? It's really pretty up here," Caleb suggested.

"Right. Yes." I quickly made a point of staring out my window until I felt like my eyeballs would bleed from not blinking.

My father and Jeanie were making kissy-kissy noises at each other, and I sighed to myself. I was never going to find love like that.

I imagined I was too much like my mother. She'd split when I was five, citing a need to "find herself." Of course, I'd always suspected she left because she had a chubber of a baby who grew into a chubber of a kid, who couldn't hold her own at the various beauty pageants my mother shoved me into.

After the pageant and modeling circuit debacle, I was still trying to find myself. My mother had been whip thin and beautiful. Me? I wasn't as chubby as I had been, but I still had a fuller figure than most girls. My boobs were too big, and so were my ass and thighs. I was also liable to trip over my own feet. That was as much grace as God had given me.

I rubbed my hands over my thighs. I always wished it would wipe away some of the fat there. No matter what I did, though, they wouldn't thin down.

My father caught my eyes in the rearview mirror, and it seemed as though he was having one of his rare moments of empathy. "I love you, cupcake," he said with a smile. "Just the way you are."

"Thanks, Dad," I murmured. I looked at the candy wrapper in the seat pocket in front of me, regretting the Snickers I'd eaten an hour ago. That certainly wasn't going to help the situation.

Jeanie gave a little pout and reached back to stop my hands from chaffing my jeans. "You're perfect. You're my perfect little girl."

Caleb looked from me, to Jeanie, to my father, and back again, curiosity clouding his features. "Am I missing something?"

"Oh," my father said. "Just a little eating disorder. Every girl gets one at her age." "Hank!" Jeanie cried, scandalized on my behalf.

My cheeks colored, and I didn't look at Caleb.

Yeah, this was definitely going to be a GREAT vacation.